


Great Day for Gay (Pride Parade)

by AxmxZ (Boanerges)



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: M/M, No one is straight in Letterkenny, Screenplay/Script Format, Soft Hockey Boys, cold open
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:36:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29767350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boanerges/pseuds/AxmxZ
Relationships: Daryl/Wayne (Letterkenny), Jonesy/Katy/Reilly (Letterkenny), Jonesy/Reilly (Letterkenny)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Great Day for Gay (Pride Parade)

EXT: THE LANEWAY LEADING UP TO THE FARM

SCREEN READS:

There are 5000 people in Letterkenny.

These are their problems.

COLD OPEN

EXT: THE BARN, SUNNY SUMMER DAY.

_WAYNE stands in his usual flannel and jeans, holding a puppy._

WAYNE: You’re out with your pals the other day… well, not “out” oot… just outside, like...

EXT: PRODUCE STAND

_The HICKS are manning the produce stand in the sunshine. WAYNE and DARYL sit in their usual spots flanking the stand. SQUIRRELLY DAN sits between them._

_A sharp-eyed viewer might notice that there is a pride-flag lapel pin on Dan’s overalls. It’s June, and Letterkenny is getting ready for its first Pride parade._

_JONESY and REILLY pull up in their Jeep to drop off KATY._

JONESY: Bye Katy!

REILLY: Bye Katy-Kat!

_KATY goes over to the lounge chair and stretches out on it. The small top she wears over her short shorts is in LGBT bisexual flag colors._

SQUIRRELY DAN: I take it, Miss Katys, that you threes made up?

KATY: Fuck no. I bet Gailer my entire tab that I would get Reilly and Jonesy to kiss at the Pride Parade.

WAYNE: And how's that going?

KATY: Hardest hundred and twenty bucks I'll ever earn. You'd think it'd be easier to get two himbos in love to make out in public.

WAYNE: Pump the breaks, are you saying those two are in love?

KATY: Isn't it obvious?

WAYNE: Well now, I thought they were just idiots.

KATY: Yeah - idiots in love.

DARRY: But don't they like girls? How does that work?

SQUIRRELY DAN: Well, Professor Trish says that a person's romantic attachment and sexual attraction aren't always in congruence, and one can be what is called 'vario-oriented' or "cross-oriented". For instance, a person could be pansexual and aromantic.

KATY: Meaning, she might have a good time with anyone but won't ever fall in love.

SQUIRRELY DAN: Or one could be demisexual biromantic.

KATY: Meaning, he is only attracted to people once an emotional bond is formed, but can feel romantic attachment to men or women.

WAYNE: See, that just seems sensible to me. Don't bolt any doors, but don't yank them open like a nutsack either.

SQUIRRELY DAN: Or, as with Reilly and Jonesy, one could be heterosexual but homoromantics.

KATY: Which means they are regularly attracted to girls but in love with another boy.

WAYNE: It's like, if you eat Ficello cheese strings on the regular, because they're tasty and only two for ten at the Dollar Store, but if you were to go on a desert island and could only take thing with you, it'd be a Big Turk.

SQUIRRELY DAN: Oh I love a Big Turk.

DARRY: I could go for a Big Turk in a big way...

KATY: Or you'll watch Grey’s Anatomy if it’s on, but if you had to pick one show to watch forever, it’d be Canadian Pickers.

WAYNE: I love Canadian Pickers. They're so polite.

DARRY: I could watch Canadian Pickers all day.

SQUIRRELY DAN: I’m surprised we're not watching Canadian Pickers right now.

KATY: Or if you usually dance to house mix at clubs, but for your wedding dance, you want “Something to Brag About”.

DAN: Now that's a good song.

WAYNE: Damn right it's a good song!

DARRY: No foolin', I could listen to “Something to Brag About” all day.

KATY: So that's what I mean with Reilly and Jonesy. They have sex with girls on the regular, but if they had to pick one person to spend the rest of their lives with, and it couldn't be me...

WAYNE: It really couldn't.

KATY: ...it would be each other.

DARRY ( _looking puzzled and mildly alarmed)_ : Wait, so you're saying it’s definitely for sure possible to be in love with a feller, even if you usually go fer ladies? 

SQUIRRELY DAN: Human sexuality's a mysterious and beautiful spectrums.

Darry _(in the grips of an epiphany_ _):_ ... Hey Wayne?

WAYNE ( _jumps up):_ You know what, I'd better go check up on the tractor, see if she needs filling...

_WAYNE walks off._

_DARRY finishes his beer in large gulps, tosses the bottle, and runs off-screen after WAYNE._

KATY ( _relaxing catlike into the sunshine)_ : Looks like the tractor isn't the only thing that needs filling.

SQUIRRELY DAN: I guess they were rights when they said Letterkenny was developing quite a gay scene.

KATY: Get after it, Little Shoots.

_Cut to Wayne silently holding a puppy._

_From off-screen, Darry edges into the shot, also facing the camera and holding a puppy. He side-steps towards Wayne until they stand side by side. Darry's puppy licks Wayne's puppy on the nose._

DARRY: Hey Wayne?..

WAYNE: Darry.

DARRY: I don't want to wait for our lives to be over. I want to know right now: what will it be?

WAYNE: Wish you weren't so fucking awkward, bud.

_Without looking away from the camera, WAYNE throws his arm around DARRY's waist. Otherwise, they remain motionless while the puppies lick each other and play._

_Darry breaks out into a huge happy smile._

**The TITLE CARD appears, with the dog in the illustration against a rainbow background.**


End file.
